"And then I whipped out my Observer book of trees and shrubs..."

Tony explains his strategy, as he relaxes with an after-match drink at the Centerparcs bar.

It looked like Dave's CentreParc record was under threat, as the Baxters hit stupendous form from the off. However the tension and the binge-drinking took it's toll and climaxed in a sensational finish, which ended clouded in controversy. Con set the early pace with a brace of pars, but he blew up with a six on three, as Mike stormed to the lead dropping just one shot on the first five. Tony had a dodgy start with double bogie, but his string of three pars put him in the lead, as Mike hit triple bogie on seven. On the eighth, Con offered to penalise himself for moving the ball on the green. However, the boys insisted that in the true spirit of Fort Baxter the penalty wouldn't stand. There was also some fear that such a penalty would darken the glory of anyone who might win by one stroke. There was also some anxiety about the prospect of Martyrdom for Con resulting in golf groupies exploding in the bunkers. It was up to Mike to come back from his nightmare and finish birdie-par to close the first day with a record-challenging 31. Tony was one off, with Dave and Con a further shot back.

Day two an early start for the boys, who were now showing the effects of a hard-night's drinking. Con, Mike and Dave each opened with double pars, whilst Tony dropped a couple of shots. It wasn't until the 13th that Mike showed a weakness, as he bogied against three pars. With Tony scoring bogie-double against three pairs of bogies, he looked out of it. Suddenly, Mike blew up completely on the sixteenth. Dave and Con hit doubles, whilst Tony hit a cool par!

Two holes to go and Con lead the field by one. It would need a cool nerve and a couple of pars to stand a chance. And then...... Con goes wild, he hits right, he's in the bushes and it's a provisional off the tee. With women beginners waiting on the tee, the Baxter boys searched and searched for the ball. Just as it was about to be declared lost, Dave found it, nestled in the roots of some Ground Elder and then ... the dispute. Displaying his progound mastery of the rules, Con declared the area a "plantation" and demanded a free drop. This was overruled on the grounds that 1. It was not clear that the tree markings meant. 2. The ball was outside the area 3. The ball was within the grass line.

Taking his punishment, Con blasted out of the roots and moved a yard or so. He then chipped on and reached the green in three. It was here that he found that it wasn't his ball! Showing great sympathy, the lads offered to let him play his provisional. However, he politely declined the offer and disqualified himself, saving his energy for a protracted discussion on the merits of his "Plantation" case. In the meantime, the others had made their pars and approached the last all-square. It was Dave's turn to go wild and the resulting five put him out, as Mike and Tony made pars for a tie. Mike tried to claim the win, by quoting the "countback" rule, but this was disputed. In spite of this being used by Fort Baxter for the last ten years, Tony had never heard of it and Dave couldn't understand it. Mike offered to explain, if everyone was willing to abide by the result. Respons.... "It all depends!" In the meantime the "Plantation" rule was still being discussed at length. Halfway home, the ladies who had been playing behind, cycled past and suggested "Calm down boys! Go and have a drink!" At this stage, Mike pointed out that without the rule book and a manual on "Flora and Fauna of the British Isles" further discussion would be useless and in any case, it wasn't Con's ball! A suggestion was made that the found ball could replace ball-100 on Con's display cabinet, thus elevating CentreParcs to one of the World's major courses, but this was declined, as the ball woared through the air and into a lake. And thus ended yet another CentreParcs Open. Amen!